I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
