who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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