I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
