god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
be right there i have to get my cape
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
