i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
