dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
