I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
