I just cut my nipple shaving
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
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8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
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Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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