I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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