Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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