Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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