of course. lets lasso hookers.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
