i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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