just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
