My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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