I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize