Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
