my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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