you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
