Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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