Sponge bath it is.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
