she woke up with a sticky ear
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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