he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I think people are normalizing furries
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Congratulations! We have a period
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