Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am one with the molecules
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
