Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
