so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
