puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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