Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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