Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
