Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's just like the Real World with babies
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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