so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
