mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
