God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
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you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
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The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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