I'm gonna have a badass scar
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
