His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
