so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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