so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
