So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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