Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
