I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
