Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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