I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
