im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
