i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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