I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
