i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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