Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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