kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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