it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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