I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
