We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
