The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
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Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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