its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
