you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
