It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
