So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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