the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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