if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
