therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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