We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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