Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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