I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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