I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
this hospital has no fireball
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
