Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
