I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i dont even know how to be here
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
