You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Can vaginas get frostbite?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
