They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
