Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
